always look deeper

My experience with growing things is there always exists the tug between what nature will cause to happen anyway and what my ego believes that I caused to happen.  I grow and create because the alternative is to stagnate and destroy.  Quite simply, the latter depresses me so I grow and create onward and upward.  Sometimes the environment is so difficult that I feel like I am withering.  When I wither I become afraid and when I am in fear I become angry and certainly not growing and creative.  I am blessed that I have been given the gift to notice beauty and that beauty strengthens me.  I am blessed that my noticing leads to capturing, sharing, and sometimes even creating beauty.

Lately, my human environment has become quite hostile to growing and creating.  It has been a struggle to stand in the middle of a battlefield that does not need to be, a struggle to be forced to chose one side or the other when my heart and soul only wants to find beauty, celebrate, and create an even greater environment.

I am not a simple or stupid woman.  I understand politics and understand the human hurt and heart.  But my gift in life has always been to understand the complex and to reduce it to its most simple form; a form that everyone can understand.  This I believe with all of my being: you will never fix, heal, create anything by being vengeful, angry, hurt, blaming, or fearful.  It is only when we can look deep within ourselves and deep within the heart of the other whom we perceive as our enemy that we can find the beauty and heal the wound that stained the beauty.