always look deeper

My experience with growing things is there always exists the tug between what nature will cause to happen anyway and what my ego believes that I caused to happen.  I grow and create because the alternative is to stagnate and destroy.  Quite simply, the latter depresses me so I grow and create onward and upward.  Sometimes the environment is so difficult that I feel like I am withering.  When I wither I become afraid and when I am in fear I become angry and certainly not growing and creative.  I am blessed that I have been given the gift to notice beauty and that beauty strengthens me.  I am blessed that my noticing leads to capturing, sharing, and sometimes even creating beauty.

Lately, my human environment has become quite hostile to growing and creating.  It has been a struggle to stand in the middle of a battlefield that does not need to be, a struggle to be forced to chose one side or the other when my heart and soul only wants to find beauty, celebrate, and create an even greater environment.

I am not a simple or stupid woman.  I understand politics and understand the human hurt and heart.  But my gift in life has always been to understand the complex and to reduce it to its most simple form; a form that everyone can understand.  This I believe with all of my being: you will never fix, heal, create anything by being vengeful, angry, hurt, blaming, or fearful.  It is only when we can look deep within ourselves and deep within the heart of the other whom we perceive as our enemy that we can find the beauty and heal the wound that stained the beauty.

It doesn't look real because...

 This blue orchid doesn’t look real because in very important ways it is not real.  It is actually a white orchid that has been infused with a “magical” substance that turns it blue, but only for one blooming season.  During the second blooming season it will revert to white.

I first saw it at a big box garden center.  I was all the way over on the far side of the garden center, but the first thought I had, even from that distance, is those can’t be real.  Still, I was drawn to them.  I mean I could not keep away.  I closely inspected every one of the dozen blue orchids, compared them to all of the other variety of orchids surrounding them, and touched them to make sure they weren’t some sort of realistic silk or plastic.  They had all of the characteristics of real orchids, but still I knew in my gut that they were somehow alien, not natural.  I didn’t have my reading glasses with me so I couldn’t read the tag that would have told me about the “magical” substance that made them blue.

Now, I like things natural.  I take plants home and try to find them a spot outside that will meet their needs without much help from me.  I don’t want plants (or other things) in my life that I have to fuss over.  In spite of being certain that these blue orchids were not natural and would probably require some fussing over, I bought one.  Then I went back and bought another.

Sometimes, even when you know you are being tricked, you take the bait.  You take the bait because, if just for a minute, you want to believe that what cannot possibly be possible is possible.

Change of color in South Florida

Who says we don’t have spectacular fall leaf color changes in South Florida?  The only differencet here and “up north” is in the number of trees and the  variety of colors.  Of course it also helps if you happen to see the tree on the day that color change happens…sort of like not wanting to miss the one day of summer in North Dakota!

This is a Cypress tree (I don’t know if it is bald or not…don’t ask).  For most of the summer it is standing in pond water that has risen because of the almost daily rains.  Now that the rains have become scarce, the pond level has receeded and the Cypress is on dry land again.  This particular Cypress produces “knees” which is sort of cool until they invade the lawn and I run the mower over one or stub my toe on it.

I think it is absolutely beautiful against the clear blue skies of fall.  I planted it when it was just a twig (honestly, it fit in the front seat of my car).  Now I wish I had planted two or three because it takes forever to grow.

Oh well, I never learn.  When I can have more, why would I choose less?  So, this weekend, enjoy yourself and ask for more!

Pretty, but I don't know your name

I have no idea what this plant is called (I know, that is a common theme for me).  I also have no idea where it came from, have no interesting tale to tell about it, and haven’t a clue about what environment it likes to live in.  All I know is once a year it covers itself with these beautiful flowers, usually when nothing else is flowering.  When it turns cold the flowers are gone and the leaves depart soon after that.  It becomes a stickly bush that begs to be pulled up.  Fortunately for it (and me)  I usually am too busy tending to other plants and never get around to yanking it out of the ground.

One of the advantages of not knowing this flower’s name is I have no preconceived ideas about it.  All I have is what it shows me.  It is what it is when it is.  I like that.  Sometimes I wish people didn’t have names or lables either.  Sometimes I would like for each meeting with another person to only be about what is presented in that moment.  Wouldn’t that be different?

I hope you don’t know this flowers name either.  I hope you can just enjoy its beauty…and have a wonderful weekend.

I thought they were natives

I know I haven’t posted anything in over a month.  It wasn’t because there weren’t flowers out there.  I just needed a break.  That said, this week we return to the wonderful world of bromeliads.

I always thought these bro’s were native to Florida and I’ve told plenty of people that they are native.  Then, silly me, I Googled Florida native bromeliads and learned that all native bro’s live in trees.  Oops!  These “former natives” live on the ground, are quite prolific, bloom several times a year, and do well in deep shade or full sun.  With such adaptability you can see why I would think they are native.  Of course they will probably turn out to be invasive and the plant police will come knocking on my door any day now.

This particular clump was thrown under an old oak to await a time in the future when I had time to divide and plant them elsewhere. That was more than ten years ago.  The old oak isn’t even technically on my property although you would never guess that by looking at it (and I didn’t either until a survey showed me the error of my ways).  I’ve maintained the property around the old oak since 1998  just like it had been before I bought my house.  So technically, if the plant police show up, do the bro’s belong to me or the unknown owner of the land under the oak?

Anyway, I hope you have great weekend.  I’m going to a barn dance across the street.  I hope you have something just as novel planned.

why I moved here

Many years ago I was returning to work after my annual CPA visit re taxes (sort of like a pap smear but worse).  I was fuming because I was having to pay taxes on something I did not benefit from and I knew I couldn’t go back to work that angry.  As I drove down the road, I saw a street sign for a road I had never been down.  I knew the unknown always helped me to learn and relax, to let go of what was.  So I turned down the road as a way to cool off.  Just before the road turned and became an entirely different road, I saw a “For Sale” sign being put out by the road.  I stopped.  There was a winding dirt driveway so pitted with potholes I did not want to go up it.  I walked.  At the start of the second bend in the driveway I saw this magnificent Banyan.  I was breathless…I felt like I was home…I felt embraced.  The house was vacant and sterile.  It had never been air conditioned.  It had no appliances.  The land was overgrown and deceiving.  The windows and doors promised to stay in place only if I promised to not push too hard.  All in all, the house structure was not  a “good deal.”  Still, the banyan called to me.  I was torn between love and reality.

Two people helped me to overcome my fear of making the wrong decision.  The first was my good friend Mary who led me down a gentle “imagine what you see” guided path.  When she asked me what I imagined, I said the tree but further questioning led to “I hear children laughing.”  She said, “You already know the answer to whether to purchase this property or not.  Go with your heart.”   The second important person was my cousin Doris.  She is a Realtor.  I called her to handle the offer and closing details.  When we got close to the closing I started to have doubts and panic.  This property required money I did not have, cost more than I thought I could afford, and would be a work in progress for many years.  My cousin put it in  simple terms, “either shit or get off of the pot (she did not use those words, but I knew what she meant).  I so appreciate her wisdom and advice at that time.  Without her, I would never had found the one place that everyday makes me hear children laughing.  Doris, you are the best  Realtor ever!!

A piece of this story I left out is that I was not only looking for a place for myself but also for my mother who because of  medical conditions could no longer live alone.  My mother loved growing things and had an organic garden and farm long before it was fashionable.   I wanted my mother to be able grow whatever she desired.  This banyan property was just under an acre and perfect for a large garden, but not large enough to qualify as agricultural which would allow chickens.  My mother really wanted chickens.  I was torn and argued with her.  In the end, I won and followed the law.  Everyday since she has died, I wish I had lost.  We had a banyan tree for god’s sake!  How could a couple of chickens harm the environment or neighborhood more than that?

I’ll tell you this, with the death of anyone close to your heart should come a lesson that makes you stronger and truer than before they departed.  Mom, I swear this to you, I will not let any law or ordinance keep me from having a chicken…I will never deny a chicken again (even if I don”t like them)!

Its a Jungle Out There

Some of you have said I must have a lot of land because of the number of Friday flowers that I’ve managed to capture and send week after week.  Actually, I have a little less than an acre and part of that is driveway and house.  So really, not much land at all, but what I do have is heavily vegetated.  I clump all kinds of plants together, most in the ground but some in pots next to their ground bound buddies.  What this leads to is a jungle atmosphere.  Mostly the plants figure out how to coexist and get what they need to thrive.  That is fine with me.

This Friday Flower was taken at the foot of my front door stairs.  I know this isn’t the kind of look that most people would be comfortable with and sometimes it even gets a little overwhelming for me too.  But during summer it is just too hot and humid for me to spend much time trying to control plant growth.  I just let them have at it.

This weekend however, the humidity is supposed to be low and the morning temperature in the 60′s.  I have a new battery operated chain saw and together we will be imposing my will on some of the garden plants.  Don’t worry, I will have my cell phone with me in case I cut the wrong thing. 

I had a devil of a time with this orchid.  I shot it  multiple times in different lights and different times of day, indoors and out.  No matter what I did, I could not capture what I felt about it.  It wasn’t that this orchid was rare or special…well it was special…on sale at a box store; it was that no matter what angle or light I used, this orchid still looked like it was on sale…cheap!  OK, compared to a lot of orchids it was cheap, and compared to a lot of orchids it looked great and lasted several months (another way to measure cheap…give more and last longer than the average).  Still, it deserved to be presented at its best, its core of exceptionality.

Then one day I gave up taking more photos of my shy beauty.  I just looked at it and looked at it and finally I could see it for what it was…I could see its essence.  I took one of the reasonalbly designed photos and stripped away everything that was not necessary to its definiton of orchid.  The above is the result.

I truly believe that everyone of us has a core essence that is for the most part difficult for others to recognize or capture, but if we are stripped down to nothing more than our essence, we will easily be recognized and more imprtantly, loved for who we really are.

I hope this weekend you are seen at your very essence AND that you see at least one other for who they really are.  Therein lies love.

white wedding

Very recently my niece married the man who sets her heart on fire and makes her cuckoo.  I know they share much more than that first-love passion; they are spiritual mates too.  Their wedding was hastily planned (and not for the reason you immediately imagined) but because he is in the military and can be trained and/or deployed at any time.  It came down to finding a time  when the marriage was even possible.

So Lindsay, my niece, took matters into her own hands and planned a wedding that included only immediate family, occurred within 2 weeks from announcement, and the best of all, filled her soul with what a marriage should symbolize for her.  She found a wedding dress that was beyond my definition of a bargain, transformed it from a ho-hum cocktail dress and with lace and satin, converted it  into a true work of beauty (of course I see it as a reflection of her soul).    Then she planned her marriage outdoors, at the foot of a waterfall, and she showed up barefoot.  My LOL’s were heard far and near!

Because of the short notice, I was not able to attend (and probably could not have climbed to the waterfall anyway).  But had there been more time and had this week’s orchid cooperated, I would have asked her to allow me to make an orchid tiara of these wedding-white beauties.  I can’t imagine a more appropriate decoration to express the purity that she brings to this union.  My heart sends the new couple blessings and prayers that orchid delicacy and strength will always be a part of their marriage.